Operation Ant-lion...

   I decided to have some peanut butter toast last night for my late-night snack. So, I go and get some bread 'a toastin' and I set the peanut butter on the countertop. I turn back after checking on something to see a bunch of ants scurrying out of MY peanut butter.
   The ants are usually just a minor annoyance in the front yard, but this moved to a whole different level of annoyance. Hells no, I said to myself. Thus, it was decided at the Council of Thomas to begin wiping out the ant menace once and for all.
   I thought about just using the pest control spray I have to further spray the upper cabinet areas. Sadly, someone is borrowing it at the moment. I then thought about using my vacuum cleaner to yank them right up. Once again, someone is borrowing my vacuum cleaner as well. My mind raced through what I could do or use to do it.
   I cleared out my cabinets of things as I prepared the initial assault. I leveled the can of WD-40 at the first group of ants and fired. BLAM!! The death rate of the ants was amazing and prompted me to fire at all of the ants now. BLAM, BLAM!! Within the span of a minute, the ant's expeditionary force was wiped out. There was no further movement. So, I went to bed for the night.
   I awoke the next morning to good news. The cabinets were still devoid of life. Good. It was time to move on to next phase of my attack on the ants. It was time to take the offensive. I once again took the can of WD-40 and ventured forth into the front yard. It was time to take care of the main supply lines of the ants.
   Just as the first time, the WD-40 proved to be highly toxic to the ants. The main supply lines and an outpost were completely wiped out (its only been an hour or so since I attacked them). There is nothing like the smell of WD-40 in the morning.
   I've temporarily paused my attack while I search out their main base. It will be ant Armageddon when I do, though.
   We shall never forget 7-3, the day of the Peanut Butter.